Knife Maker Time

New DS Supersteel Knife blanks. Note the six-inch wood ruler in the photo. You Black Panthers out there don't need that much ruler to measure your stuff. Want one? We may make you a deal - unless you're a "Black Pampers".

Knife maker time matches precisely the way time passes inside DS&S World (otherwise known as Spork World). This concept doesn't translate very well into English, because in Spork World, only Sporkish is spoken. As it is a secret language, you can all just piss off. We ain't talking. Other than to say the following...

Knife maker time is ascertained by multiplying times a factor of two, adding 40, and dividing by 1.25787, any number given to you by a knife maker as it relates to time.

For example, a knife maker says "we'll have that for you in three weeks." 

3 weeks = 21 days

21 x 2 = 42 days

42 + 40 = 82 days

82 / 1.25787 = 65.189 days. 

Whatever this final figure is, it is then added to by a factor of five days every time you pester the knife maker with silly questions about time frame. Most times, the knifemaker will simply add a month or two on to the end-figure. At DS&S, this is because we make custom knives - and not the junk you find in a department store. If you want something right now, go somewhere else. 

TIMEFRAME CAN SUBSEQUENTLY BE eight to 15 weeks...

but may be sooner. As an example, we try to drop everything for deploying troops. We also drop everything when the knifemaker is supplied with a new watch. This can cut the timeframe needed down by 20 or 30 percent.

This is called a "bribe," which is legal in Spork World.

Otherwise, you better know how to tile a floor, because Spork is not fooling around with the whole front room thing.

This is called "hard labor" which happens when bribes fail.

 

That is all.