For those interested, our knives feature a zero-grind style at between 7.5 and 11 degrees. We do each of these completely by-hand and by-eyeball. There are no jigs at work here. Our grinder features a ten-inch wheel with a variable speed controller – and we run it at high pressures with a 70 duro contact wheel and 2 inch x 72-inch blaze ceramic belts.
We do not, however, weigh our knives. If you are worried about how much they weigh, you must be preparing to take them into space. Hope you have a good trip.
Our steels have been LaTrobe Dura Tech 20CV, ELMAX, M390, CTS-204P, Z-FINIT Nitrogen Steel, CPM-20CV and a couple in N690 and Cowry X. We are always experimenting – and always looking for new materials and treatments.
Our coatings are also specialized stuff: We use Black-T and Black Diamond DLC. Our blades are sent out to those two companies to accomplish that work, depending on the requirements of the project.
Hours
Knives
Happy clients
Years
Awards
AT DS&S TACTICAL…
With the steel at 2100 fahrenheit, the blade is withdrawn from the forge and quenched in oil. Billy tongs hold this finished blade, with aluminized gloves as protection. Even still, the heat from this feels like a sunburn.
At DS&S Tactical…
DS&S was begun with a single design. The specs for that knife, requested by a special operations troop, were carefully looked at, and a blade was fashioned from the very best steel we could find. However, that caused the entire shop to have to be upgraded, as the treatments for the materials needed for the project were outrageous.
Piece-by-piece, what was needed to accomplish the task, was assembled, and our skills improved enough to do the job. All of this created our ZEUS Advanced Combat Knife.
2014 Aaron Vaughn Frogman Swim Charity Auction
One of our knives was recently won at auction by a great guy: Col. Allen West, pictured here with Billy Vaughn at the Aaron C. Vaughn Frog Swim. The knife for this event was a special ELMAX super steel design. As always, at DS&S, we make gear for legends.
The 2014 Vaughn Frog Swim knife, built to benefit the children’s charity, Operation 300. This knife, the new Poseidon ACV has a beautiful weight, balance and geometry. It was designed by DS&S, to be the flagship 2014 field combat knife.
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DDG-112
special blade presented at ceremonies for destroyer commissioning
Commander of the DDG-112, USS Michael Murphy, Thomas Schultz, holds the knife presented to him – a specially constructed M390 Super Steel ZEUS II Advanced Combat Knife.
A close-up of the Murphy ZEUS II.
The DS&S crew was represented by a specially-designed ZEUS II Advanced Combat Knife, handmade sheath and presentation box hand-built and carved by Badoracle. These items were presented to the Murphy’s Commander, Thomas Schultz during a historic day as the DDG-112, moored in New York harbor, is prepared for Saturday’s event.
The Murphy, a 510 foot destroyer of the Arleigh Burke class, is named after Medal of Honor recipient and Navy SEAL Michael P. Murphy, who died in Operation Red Wings in June 2005. In recognition of the commissioning, the Murphy’s fine commander, and in memory of Michael, who’s callsign was “Spartan 01,” DS&S constructed a modern Spartan Xiphos, titled ZEUS II and built its’ associated pieces over the the last couple months.
Engraved on the blade and the plaque for the box, is the quote from the Spartan King to Xerxes in response to the order to the Spartans to hand over their arms. Written in ancient Greek, the line is fitting for the DDG-112 which carries the motto, “Lead the Fight.”
Plutarch said:
“When Xerxes wrote again, ‘hand over your arms,’ he wrote in reply, “‘Come and take them.'”
Badoracle working on the carving for the Murphy presentation box. At DS&S, we make gear for legends.
We make tactical knives for field use.
A Neptune Advanced Assault Knife.
Our tactical tools are the best blades on the modern battlefield. Designed from up-to-date data and specifications from troops in the field, they are crafted with the most advanced, cutting-edge metallurgy available today coupled with proprietary technology and techniques.
We believe in our great country. We believe in freedom. And we believe in our servicemen and women who protect our country and our freedom. DS&S is the family business of a disabled veteran and we want our active troops to have the best gear possible – not some “low-bidder” junk or crappy last-minute, pre-deployment, department store purchase.
A recent firing of a Bullshark Advanced Assault Knife.
We make impossible gear for impossible situations.
A NEMO Advanced Deep Water Knife.
All our items are made by hand, with attention given to the details that are often missed by others. We can make this claim because we have the necessary field experience, imagination, and skills to know both what’s needed and what works.
And we put that expertise into the hands of those who protect us from the darkness every day.
At DS&S, we make gear for legends!
2013 Aaron Vaughn Frog Swim
Marc Alan Lee
In memory of Marc Alan Lee, this blade was created at DS&S Tactical and presented to his mother, Debbie Lee.
The Marc Lee blade is test-fitted to its’ carved titanium handles. Both the handles and blade are on their way to be Black Diamond coated. This represents some of our finest work, and materials.
Special Operations Warrior Foundation – Army CQBT-B
The Tangi River U.S. Army CQBT-B was developed to honor the Army soldiers lost in the Tangi River Valley, Afghanistan on 8/6/2011! This knife was auctioned to benefit the Special Operations Warrior Foundation. Follow the Special Operations Warrior Foundation charity blade story…. $520 was raised for the charity on this knife!
***OUR CHARITY BLADES***
Our work would be for nothing, if it weren’t for the projects we do for charity. We are very proud of this work, as often we have very little means to accomplish it, and yet it still gets done.
Tangi River Bullshark
$3500 raised for the Navy SEAL Foundation!
A blade worthy of the greatest warriors in the world!
The Tangi River Valley Bullshark Advanced Combat Knife is the most advanced combat knife ever produced anywhere – and we auctioned it with 100-percent of the proceeds going to the Navy SEAL Foundation to honor the Navy SEALs lost 8/6/2011!
The blade is made from M390 cryogenically treated super-steel infused with nano-particles to create the ultimate super-strength blade because we owe legends our lives and liberty. And nothing but the best will do. Yeah Baby!
The nano-steel blade is paired with a special DRED system self-draining handle and custom fitted concealex sheath with tek-lok clip.
Follow the story of the Tangi River Valley Bullshark Advanced Combat Knife. It stands alone.
Special knife for One Boy USO
The knife made for One Boy USO’s Cody Jackson.
We built a special thank you for Cody Jackson of One Boy USO. The special Tramp knife pictured above was created from CTS-204P American Super Steel and coated with Black Diamond DLC. It was specially engraved by The Recognition Place in Albuquerque.
PRIMUS created in memory of SEAL Master Chief Bukowski
The Primus Advanced Assault Knife made in honor of SEAL Master Chief Steve Bukowski. Built from Cowry X super steel with C-TEK handle pieces. Hand-engraved. Perhaps our finest blade made to-date.
Benefit for Little Warriors
Done in memory of Brian Bill, U.S. Navy SEAL, this knife was auctioned to benefit the charity Little Warriors.
And more about The Little Warriors HERE.
This Bullshark MK-2 Advanced Combat Knife was built for The Little Warriors Charity. It was auctioned to good effect, helping the children of our nation’s warriors..
Sniper Challenge
Blade delivered to the Oregon Sniper Challenge to benefit Navy SEAL Foundation. The Challenge kicked off on Friday, August 16, 2013.
DS&S Tactical did a special Neptune blade for the 2013 Oregon Sniper Challenge. Proceeds to benefit the Navy SEAL foundation.
In memory of Bart
Some may forget, but at DS&S that is simply not in our nature. So we remembered Bart, the Wardog, who served the United States faithfully and lost his life with all the other special operators, 8/6/11 in Wardak Afghanistan.
In memory of Bart, and all those like him, we created this Memorial Knife.
Because sometimes legends are more than human.
Testimonials
“This thing is great! The first thing that I noticed is the great custom handle, very nice.
Easy to grip and keep a grip on it. Very comfortable in the hand, also matches the sheath nicely. The blade is nicely balanced, it is very easy to handle and work the blade. It is very nicely finished, good point, nicely sharpened back edge. The more you look at it, the more detail you notice. This is a masterpiece of blade work, both a fine weapon, and a great tool / companion that you want to keep with for whatever situation arises.
The finish, attention to detail, high quality materials make this a winner, keep up the great work. Thank you for creating a master blade for me, and I can’t wait to get the next one.”
“I received my first 3 knives today the City of Bones, the Zeus, and a CQBT-B. I am very particular and had very high expectations. I was Still very impressed and beyond satisfied. These knives are The Real Thing not some BS production model. The Excellent communication, timely updates, and great attention to detail have made the experience of ordering from you a pleasure. I have another 7 projects in the works with you at this time and expect nothing but exceptional results like the blades I have already received. Well done to say the least. I have and will continue to tell everyone I know about your products.
These are the most advanced no nonsense combat blades I have ever come across. God Bless you and the work you do giving our troops an option to carry a REAL knife that will stand up to Anything put in front of it.”
“Just received the Bullshark for my son (his birthday present) who’s a PFC with focus on CBRN in the Marines. He’s a nut about knives and after Annette got you guys to build the prototype for me I knew what to get him for his birthday! I really like the choices you made for him regarding the black on black, just what I’d want in an “O’dark thirty, bad guy around the corner” situation. Of course, I was most concerned that he had something for close in combat that wouldn’t let him down. The military does a good job supplying our boys and girls the tech of the ’50-60s, but if I can afford to help my own I will and have with the VERY BEST. You guys are great! I can’t even think of anyone within miles of your skill, quality and design. When the shit hits the fan, give me a Bullshark, my FN P90 and I’m good – and the bad guys are dead!
Keep up the great quality work!”
“Dave and his team over at DS&S has far exceeded my expectations with the Kali Push Dagger. It is one of the finest blades that it has my pleasure to own. The grip is very comfortable to hold and use and the edge is wickedly sharp. I almost hate to use it for an everyday carry as something this unique begs to be put on display. This is the type of quality and craftsmanship that will last generations and will certainly become a heirloom for my family. If you need a knife that is tougher than a Marine Drill Sergeant; Dave is the person who can get it done for you.”
“I got my knives on last Tuesday and I was (and still I am !) deeply impressed. Great craftsmanship, tough construction. These are made to be used. This won’t be the last ones I will order. Also some friends of mine show some interest and another one has already ordered. Thanks again for your ongoing patronage and excellent communication, during all phases of the knives’ nascency.”
NOTE: J. Kindler is the man responsible for the new CQBT-K development.
“I got it and the only thing that came to mind was “Wow”.
You are a genius at what you do, not only does it look like a masterpiece, it’s also a hell of a weapon, I pity whatever happens to be on the receiving end of it.
Thank you so much for the amazing work, I’ll be referring everyone I know that happens to be needing a real knife, not that crap you buy from the store that last for a month before it rusts.
Ill stop with my rant though haha and just thank you again. Keep up the great work.”
“Purchased two custom knives from Dave. I ordered a boot knife for me and the Bullshark for my boss – Gde Trafic CEO. They just arrived today and we are so pleased with the quality and craftsmanship. Dave is your go to guy for tactical knives.”
“I am fortunate to have a blade produced by DS Tactical. The quality of craftsmanship, material, and design have given me a no-fail option for no-fail situations. Dave was extremely accomodating of my timeline and provided me no-bs feedback and imput. I look forward to putting this blade through operational conditions. I consider this a valuable investment in my own capabilities and suggest any warrior devoted to their profession consider it as well.”
Hey d,
We cannot thank you and the DS&S Tactical crew enough for these unbelievable knives! The quality and craftsmanship of these knives are so fine and unmatched by any other. We are extremely proud to own such well made tools, crafted by such skilled individuals. So we thank you greatly for providing us with the tools needed to protect our lives and loved ones.
With great appreciation,
Steven, Lucas, Nicholas
Hello D,
I just wanted to send you a Texas size THANK YOU for all of the hard work you put into completing the Neptune in record time…. I especially appreciated the pictures you sent. We received the blade just in time to present the
Neptune as a token of our appreciation to an employee for 12+ years service to the company. You should have seen his face…His first words were (as he hefted the blade with wide eyes) “WOW, now look at that bad boy”… “That is all there”… “That is all there”… “Wow, this is something else” The only time I have seen him this happy is after a successful hunting trip.
Thanks again for everything you did to complete this project ahead of schedule and for your past service to our country!
Best Regards,
Kevin Corley
Flower Mound, TX
Christmas in April! Received my CQBT-12 today and what a knife! I have no intention of chopping down trees, cutting up 55 gallon barrels or dismantling a car but if I was so inclined I have no doubt this knife would do it. The workmanship on this knife is impeccable and the attention to detail obvious. I feel honored and privileged to be the knifes owner. Any potential buyers need to take the plunge, you will not regret being the owner of a DS&S Tactical Knife. Thanks DS&S for creating my knife!
I recently purchased the Neptune as a gift for my brother who works in Naval Special Warfare. The truly personal customer service I received made everything so easy for me! I had no knowledge or experience in knives so having someone thoroughly explain all of the ins and outs of things really helped! I was kept up-to-date on the progress of the knife and it was completed quickly and on my budget! My brother has gotten numerous compliments on the knife, I’ve personally heard more than one person tell him that it’s the most beautiful pieces of craftsmanship that they’ve seen. The knife is well made and sharp as hell! I would (and have) absolutely recommend DSS Tactical to anyone who wants a truly custom and beautiful knife!
Thank you for all of your help! I’m so glad I chose to purchase from y’all!!
(name withheld for personal security)
Our Team
What We Believe
Three new DS&S knives – (left) the U.S. Navy CQBT with 2nd Gen self-draining, ported handles; (right) The Ghost CQBT with solid Designer G10 handle slabs in shades of grey and an urban digital sheath; (top) the Raven Black – ultimate conceal / utility.
We believe in our great country and we believe in freedom.
We believe in our servicemen and women, and we want them to have the best gear money can provide – not some “low-bidder” junk some pinhead politician thinks they should carry.
So we make our items by hand, with attention given to details often missed by others, because they lack the necessary field experience, imagination and skills to know what works and what’s needed – and to bring those ideas into the light of the real world.
We make impossible gear for impossible situations. We do this for our greatest friends – because they are out there in the bad places, holding back the darkness for us all.
At DS&S, we make gear for legends.
Some of the new offerings by DS&S. Top is the CQBT-Bassett; Second from top is the new Combat Controller; Right: our “LEAF”; Bottom: The Trinity Boot Knife and the Trinity X Advanced Combat Knife.
Our plan is to avoid living under a bridge with all of our belongings in a shoebox. But shit happens, so we’re preparing for everything. Our plan does not include having to live in some post-apocalyptic hell after the Earth is hit by an asteroid. Bruce Willis is on speed-dial for that, even though he is getting a bit old to manage all that saving-the-world stuff.
Our plan does not include starring in a cooking show on television – or appearing on QVC. We’ll take the whole “end-of-world” scenario before that. Our plan does not include griffons or unicorns or wizards, so don’t even ask.
We plan to make lots of knives.
We plan to sell lots of knives.
But that plan doesn’t involve shitheads.
So if you are a shithead, piss-off.
We plan to make and sell lots of knives, but we don’t plan to involve weird foreign countries. Some foreign countries aren’t weird. Those are our allies and we like them. The other ones may be lovely places with fun and interesting people – but we don’t like those telephone answering services that connect to those countries for technical support issues. That’s a huge turn-off.
Screw ’em. To a tank tread if necessary.
HINT: we’re way-less about the “science” here at DS&S. In fact, at least one of us got a failing grade by Mr. Weintraub in High School, causing an immediate decision to join the military to be a bit more than rushed.
Our Processes
A number of DS&S knives after grinding, heat treat, tempering and initial polishing. Now ready for handles, sheaths, coating and engraving.
All our knives are made by hand, one-at-a-time. All the parts are made by us, here. No two are ever completely alike.
At DS&S we only use the finest steels available. Others can use junk like 1095, other 10XX series carbon steels, or 420 / 440 stainless and similar clones. We use the rarest steels, with the most rigorous testing and treatments designed to maximize performance in the field.
Our current aerospace steels:
CTS-204P
La Trobe Dura Tech 20CV
ELMAX
M390
Cowry X (when available / requested)
We start with a steel slab. It goes to waterjet to cut it. When the blank returns, we grind it, engrave it, heat-treat it, polish it. Maybe we coat in-houise or maybe we send it out for coating, or maybe it doesn’t get coated.
Then we build the handle and the sheath, assemble everything and ship it. Sounds easy – but it isn’t.
The process is as follows…. We order the steel piece for your knife (can take a couple weeks for steel to arrive); we get the raw steel cut at waterjet into the blank for your knife (can take a couple weeks for waterjet to do this); we grind the rough profile for your knife; we polish the rough profile and prep it for firing; we fire the forge to 2100f and heat your knife up until it glows, then quench in oil and eventually liquid nitrogen; we temper the blade, giving it the springiness and toughness; we re-polish the blade, which is now finished (this process of grinding, heat-treating, polishing, can take a month or so); we build the handle and fit it to the knife; we build the sheath and fit it to your handle / knife combo (this can take a couple weeks); we prep for additional treatments (ie. nano-process, and / or coating); we ship your blade to the appropriate coating facility (it can take them about a month); we receive the coated blade back from the out-of-state facility, and re-mount it to the handle; we re-expose the sharpened edge of the finished knife; we coat the blade in SEAL-1; we ship the finished knife.
Why worry about weather?
Our forge is outside.
Rain is the enemy of a hot forge – and wind is the enemy of hot steel, as we need to reduce oxygen to the blade.
A windy day = no firing.
A rainy day / heavy clouds = no firing.
A note about knife maker time
New DS Supersteel Knife blanks. Note the six-inch wood ruler in the photo. You Black Panthers out there don’t need that much ruler to measure your stuff. Want one? We may make you a deal – unless you’re a “Black Pampers”.
Knife maker time matches precisely the way time passes inside DS&S World (otherwise known as Spork World). This concept doesn’t translate very well into English, because in Spork World, only Sporkish is spoken. As it is a secret language, you can all just piss off. We ain’t talking. Other than to say the following…
Knife maker time is ascertained by multiplying times a factor of two, adding 40, and dividing by 1.25787, any number given to you by a knife maker as it relates to time.
For example, a knife maker says “we’ll have that for you in three weeks.”
3 weeks = 21 days
21 x 2 = 42 days
42 + 40 = 82 days
82 / 1.25787 = 65.189 days.
Whatever this final figure is, it is then added to by a factor of five days every time you pester the knife maker with silly questions about time frame. Most times, the knifemaker will simply add a month or two on to the end-figure. At DS&S, this is because we make custom knives – and not the junk you find in a department store. If you want something right now, go somewhere else.
TIMEFRAME CAN SUBSEQUENTLY BE four to 13 months at present. Project requirements determine that along with the work of other businesses we call on for cutting, coating, engraving, etc.
but may be sooner. As an example, we try to drop everything for deploying troops. We also drop everything when the knifemaker is supplied with a new watch. This can cut the timeframe needed down by 20 or 30 percent.
This is called a “bribe,” which is legal in Spork World.
Otherwise, you better know how to tile a floor, because Spork is not fooling around with the whole front room thing.
This is called “hard labor” which happens when bribes fail.
That is all.
—————————-
The process is as follows…. We order the steel piece for your knife (can take a couple weeks for steel to arrive); we get the raw steel cut at waterjet into the blank for your knife (can take a couple weeks for waterjet to do this); we grind the rough profile for your knife; we polish the rough profile and prep it for firing; we fire the forge to 2100f and heat your knife up until it glows, then quench in oil and eventually liquid nitrogen; we temper the blade, giving it the springiness and toughness; we re-polish the blade, which is now finished (this process of grinding, heat-treating, polishing, can take a month or so); we build the handle and fit it to the knife; we build the sheath and fit it to your handle / knife combo (this can take a couple weeks); we prep for additional treatments (ie. nano-process, and / or coating); we ship your blade to the appropriate coating facility (it can take them about a month); we receive the coated blade back from the out-of-state facility, and re-mount it to the handle; we re-expose the sharpened edge of the finished knife; we coat the blade in SEAL-1; we ship the finished knife.
The DS&S Process with Latrobe DuraTech™ 20CV Powder Metallurgy – Aerospace Super Steel
All I can say here is that we stand alone.
D&S hs now created the first Zeus blade – along with three others in LaTrobe Dura Tech 20CV super steel. Below are the photos proving we reached the critical 2100 degrees fahrenheit and proving the cryogenic drop from 125 degrees to -125. There are knife snobs and steel snobs out there who would sniff and stick their noses in the air. Tough shit.
We Did It
We did it with an outstanding little heat-treater from Sugarcreek Industries, limited funding, limited resources and a small, simple shop with a basic grinder. So, if you think you want to roll with DS&S, think again – because we’re way ahead of you – and our Mime Team is a crack assault force, which we will unleash on your sorry butt if provoked.
Anyway – the best part? We have one of these Zeus blades available for you! Low serial numbers are still available, albeit they are being bought up pretty quickly.
Oh – and Knife Guild weenies, steel snobs, REMF CDs (you know who you are), Soldiers of Fiction, armchair General jackasses and other whiney baby-heads – stick it up your ass sideways 🙂
We only make our gear for the best folks on the planet. If you aren’t one of them, order from someone else. Confused? Need someone to hold your hand? Shut the hell up!
At DS&S, we make gear for legends.
We offer three types of engraving.
Diamond Drag is a surface engraving that pretty much just cuts through the coating leaving bright letters (basically exposing the steel surface).
Laser Engraving is engraved into the steel before after it is coated, leaving blackened letters (like a deep grey color).
Hand Engraving is a very special and custom touch done meticulously by the lead Oompa-Loompa, under the close scrutiny of Sporkgirl.
Choose carefully. Once in the steel, it doesn’t come out. See the examples of each below.
Generally our engravings are going to add cost to our blades from here on out, until we strike oil in our back-yard. This is because the desert is a big place – and since we live on the opposite side of the desert from our fantastic retired NAVY engraver, the fuel costs are currently painful. And since the name of our pain is GAS – we felt like we should share it with you. After all, it’s only a small word – and not too big a cost to engrave whatever you want on our works of art.
See our Pricing List for details on cost.?
Creating the DS&S Bullshark Advanced Combat Knife
Above is a new video of the making of a Bullshark Advanced combat knife. The video depicts our shop, and the hands-on processes we use to create every knife we make. Background music for this video is provided by the amazing Anne Freeman and her Hyperthreat Studios.
The Bullshark Advanced Combat knife is made using third-generation powdered metallurgy in the form of M390 super steel. The blades are ground by hand with six separate grinds producing the resulting blade which is then mounted in hand-worked, self-draining G10 phenolic laminate in a specialized process unique to DS&S knives.
The owner of the prototype Bullshark, Anne Freeman, adds her song “Beautiful” to this video. We make gear for legends – and Anne is a legend.
Go to her site and buy stuff. Get involved with the work of Hyperthreat Studios, or we’re sending the Mime Team after your dumb butt.
This is the toughest coating available for knives – and we will pair it with our super steel and possibly some machined titanium grips, to produce the toughest knives available on the planet.
Gear which could almost be considered legendary- as always, made for legends.
——A DLC test run is being done now. Those who want the DLC coating on their knives should contact us. The cost will be $40 for us to send the blade out for this treatment –but it will be well worth the extra time and money.——-
COMING SOON: The skull pattern which will be used on some upcoming special edition blades. This special durable coating will seamlessly cover the handle and blade.
Along with Duracoat we will be using a specialized treatment on a select few knives in the coming weeks. This treatment, while experimental for our shop, is widely used in a variety of other fields today. You like our DS&S skull? We do too. We will soon produce the ultimate “skull” knife.We make gear for legends.
A CQBT finished with Dura Bake for a good friend.
We can get our blades to a serviceable edge. This is sharp, but not sharp enough to shave with.
You know the Kevin Costner scene where the sword cuts the dropped piece of silk … yeah, that one isn’t going to happen for you with our servicable edge. With our premium sharpening service, however, we can get extremely sharp – often like a razor.
See, we know an expert here in New Mexico, Mike Coan of Re-New Sharpening. And if we give him some money and some time, he will put a very sharp edge on your knife. But, we’re not talking small change here. It takes time – and a true master to create such an edge … even from knives such as ours.
SAFETY FIRST!
Don’t stick a knife in your head – or in any other space on your body.
Don’t run with knives in your hand or in your head.
Don’t fool around with knives. They can end up stuck in your head.
Don’t throw knives, they can end up stuck in other people’s heads.
Don’t order knives if you’re an idiot, or under-age. We don’t sell to people in either category – and certainly not if you’re in both categories. If you don’t know what category you might fall into, you’re probably in the first one. If you don’t know if you’re under-age or (below the age of 18), you’re probably in the second category – and maybe in both. If we think you’re in either category, we just won’t sell you anything at all, so don’t bother asking.
Don’t order knives if you have a personality disorder or are taking orders from your neighbor’s dog. If you have no clue as to what is a “personality,” and your psychologist has determined that you cannot own a pen, then a knife is definitely not for you.
See the WARNING and leave us the Hell, alone. We’re making knives – and that’s dangerous.
More Safety Tips!
Don’t eat pastry while skating and holding a knife.
Don’t skate with a knife clenched in your teeth even after eating pastry.
Don’t dance with anyone who is wearing more than one knife.
Leave any restroom immediately if someone enters with more than one knife.
Don’t pull a gun when they pull a knife. Kill them with their knife. It’s more economical.
Don’t coat your blades in luminous paint, if you want to remain somewhat invisible to the enemy.
Don’t coat your knives with curare if you want to live.
Don’t irritate voodoo priests, even if you have a knife.
Don’t try to kill a 25 foot shark with a knife. It will eat you – and your knife. Knives pooped out by sharks are not covered by warranty. I’m not even sure we have a warranty. We’ve never needed one.
Don’t threaten bears with knives. They are never impressed, because they have paws the size of your head with five knives on each paw. After they’ve amputated your head and your arms with those paws, they will eat them. Lost knives due to being eaten by a bear is not covered. And we don’t offer a ressurection service. Contact the voodoo priest if you haven’t already pissed him off.
Don’t try to fix your cell phone with a knife. They will ask you about the hole in the phone.
Don’t stick knives in your friends and neighbors. It’s not polite.
Don’t drop a knife out of an airplane – and then follow it without a parachute. We’re not sure of the end-results, but we are sure you’re going to need some kind of priest.
Don’t chase alien creatures with knives. They will eat you – in a very unusual and no-doubt, icky way.
Don’t approach Naval warships in fishing boats while brandishing knives. You will likely be fired upon – and once again we are in priest territory.
Lastly, don’t swallow knives or swords – if you can’t get them out in one direction – they have to go out the other way.
Just a thought.
FAQ
How do I buy a knife?
Go HERE and look at the left of the page. It’s pretty. Here is a magical place where you will be able to find fancy stuff – it’s like Willy Wonka – just without the chocolate factory or Willy or irritating children. Contact us by pressing HERE. At this point, you will receive a knock on the door. A mime will offer you a blue pill or a red pill. Choose carefully.
Just kidding.
In your reality (because it definitely isn’t ours) you will then receive an email from us. We will ask you what you want, and if everything is OK, you will be directed through the exciting process of PayPal. Which is actually very legit and safe – and all those things you’ve come to expect of a real business. Which we are. We just have mimes.
A PayPal request will be sent to you. You pay the bill, baby – and we get a notification to begin your project. At that point, the steel is ordered, along with the other materials – and the process is begun.
Do you offer payment plans?
Only for trusted friends. You can become a trusted friend – it just takes time and patience… and a dash of kindness.
What time of day can I contact you for recommendations on dining, relationship issues, general questions about sailing ships and sealing wax, cabbages and kings?
Piss off. Try calling the White House. They want to answer everyone’s questions with soft, mealy-mouthed bullshit. They’ll probably give you a big, wet, sloppy kiss for making such inquiries. In fact, I bet there’s an entire department set up with its’ own czar by now – just to take phone calls from your dumb ass. Check. We’ll still be here waiting.
How much is shipping?
We generally add shipping into the order – unless you live in Australia, Germany or on the surface of the Moon, which all seem to be about the same distance away.
How long will it take for me to receive the work of art, for which I just paid all this money and exorbitant shipping costs?
As long as it takes. Actually, custom knifemakers have been known to take a year to produce some glitzy piece of crap. Since our blades are neither glitzy nor crap, you can expect a production time measured in at least the same amount of time.
NOTE: See our processes! You specifically should be interested in reading about knife maker time. Knife maker time is different from other time, because we live in a space-time bubble. Please see the last episode of stargate sg1 for further explanation.
We do have some limitations regarding our steel (which is the best on the planet – no kidding) and our coatings (which are also the best there is). The steel takes some time to get if we need to order it. The waterjet dudes have to cut the steel, the coating takes time, because it is done in an outside biz on the other side of the country… and it is also, magic. Get the picture? Yeah baby. We are some high-tech suckers out here. A good poop takes time, and some tactical magazines to read – and so do our knives, even though they’re not poop. They are tactical, though.
What if I’m on my way to the bad places, and I need my knife fast?
Contact us. We’ll see what we can do. We can’t make any promises, of course. Our business is like any other one. We’ve got a lot of things in the air – much like our team of professional jugglers. But Spork Girl keeps tasering them, so they’re not juggling too well right now.
What do I do if something goes badly wrong with my knife?
Send it back to us, baby. We love you. We will look at what you’ve done to our masterpiece, and shake our heads in sadness. We will wring our hands and gnash our teeth and claw at the walls. Then, if a brief description is included as to what was done to destroy our fine knife, and you have been kind enough to provide us with your e-mail address, we’ll send you a note and discuss the forging of a new blade – and the mounting of your original handles onto that blade. If the handles develop a problem – same deal. We want you to be happy at us. We have, however, already spent your money, so unless there’s no way to repair or replace the knife (and there’s always a way), forget about dollar signs. We don’t do refunds. We’re not a department store.
What if I want a refund?
See above. Once ordered and paid for, we start the process to build your knife. Money and time goes in. Subsequently, we don’t do refunds.
What happens if I am abducted by Yeties?
We don’t do Yeti abduction packages, turkey. Our advice would be to speak soft comforting words – and then run like hell. Just don’t slip on that patch of ice and plummet 8,000 feet to your death. Just sayin. That would be a game changer. NOTE: Always be kind to your Sherpas, and they will keep you safe from the Yeties.
What do I do if I can’t find my socks?
Check the spacecraft your Chinese Pug is building in the backyard. Yeah – it’s kind of spooky, but socks apparently hold the warp core in-place.
What do I do if I’ve eaten an entire bucket of chicken – or a family-sized portion of Chinese food – or five Big Macs – or the crazy shit in MRE number 5?
Aim away from everyone you don’t want to spatter. Then hurl. Then stick a DS&S knife in a terrorist. That will make you feel much better.
What if I hate the idea of fanatic whackjobs?
Sitting around in a circle singing 60s tunes won’t get you there. You just need to express yourself creatively. May we suggest some good old-fashioned ass-kicking delivered to rat-bastard terrorist fanatics. Smack ’em once for us. Then kick ’em out of the chopper. It’s what we would do. But smack ’em again before you kick ’em out. We’d do that too.
What if there’s a Garggle Snorfleblaster sitting right acoross from me?
Don’t talk about your significant other that way.
What if I’m worried about the sky?
Don’t look up. And try to get outside a little more often. Maybe talk to something other than the reflection in your soup.
What if I’m concerned about the environment and the long-term effects of the G10 which makes up a DS&S knife handle – and the carbon emissions which entered the atmosphere when my knife was forged?
Shut up. Get busy offing terrorists. By the time you reach number three, the reduction in poop and CO2 excreted by the rat bastard extremists will easily offset any environmental impact our knives might have. We aren’t science czars here, but we’re pretty sure we’re right. Besides, we asked our tree in the backyard, and it said we’re right. We gave it a hug just for you. Now, piss off.
What do I do if I’ve fallen in love with DS&S Girl?
The best you can hope for is message traffic, my friend. See DS&S Girl’s Q&A. She’ll answer your questions and messages, but be polite, or we’ll delete your message and scramble the mime squad. You don’t want them coming for you.
What do I do if I get my knife lodged in a terrorist and it won’t come out?
Twist it, baby. That’s right. Nothing in the world that a sharp twist won’t cure.
What if I get it lodged in the terrorist, and in the midst of the firefight, bad shit happens – and it’s lost.
We love our men and women in uniform. Badoracle would gladly take the place of any one of you, if the service would accept him back. Alas, time marches on, and the best we can manage from here is to produce the best gear we can for our troops. If you are a serviceman or woman – and your knife is lost during action. Contact us. We want to help – and will try to figure out a way to do so. No other company in the world would do this – but we are not any other company. We are DS&S Tactical – and at DS&S we make gear for legends…
and that is what you are.